*Helpful Tips To Spotting A Potential And Physical Signs To Tell If A Child Has Been Sexually Abused
Rev. Br. Kenneth Chigozie Alamezie, BSS
Children are terrific, happy, innocent, and harmless beings; and as such deserve all the protection and care we can give. Their very life reminds us of what life and interpersonal relations should be, also what is best about ourselves. The hope of every family, community, state, and country is dependent on the quality of the children there. And no family is, or will ever be complete without a child. Thus there is nothing more important and worth giving every attention than the health, happiness, moral upbringing and protection of our children. It is not in question that any child given sound parental/moral upbringing, and raised in a healthy environment will grow up into a real future leader.
Unfortunately, the score sheet, if we’re to tell ourselves the truth, shows we’re really lacking in this regard; considering the recent surge of child sexual abuse in the country and beyond. Some sex maniacs—regrettably, many of whom are parents—have adopted a different method of gratifying their ravenous sexual lust. The tide is no longer as before. Today children are the target thus, putting the freedom, rights, lives and future of our kids on the precipice. Whether this is as a consequence of unrestricted use of the internet and the social media, the rise in wild range of products capable of sexual arousal, remains not in doubt.
Our national dailies, today, are filled with really bloodcurdling stories of child sexual abuse, by those who customarily should’ve protected them from such, which lives one wondering what could be done to curtail the proliferation of this evil trend, and nip in the bud this horrid tendency of adult/parents pedophiles around. What we hear and read in newspapers, almost on daily basis regarding this matter, can best be described as horrifying, absolutely!
Very recently, there was this report, as bizarre and atrocious as it is, that emerged on the internet and in some of our national dailies, of a father, so-called anyway, who was in the act of sexually abusing his 7 year old daughter, and would pay her off after, a kind of. Similar cases involving parents sexually abusing their kids abound, and recently are on the rise with impunity; it’s really becoming very unbecoming. This is happening despite our respective cultural heritage and background, religious beliefs and teachings abhorring such. What makes the case cited so nauseating and devoid of human comprehension, is the reported manner in which the demoniac of a man, who I suppose may be either an occultist or a crackbrain, was carrying out the nefarious act. What else should I say? For a man to have been putting his erectile organ of copulation into his 7 year old daughter’s mouth (as the story had it, that he had been doing that for months, and his other kids knew about it before the wife got wind of it) for whatever reason is unheard of. This is insanity of the highest order; one that defies logic and commonsense, insults morality and decorum, and betrays the very essence of human existence. And is far worse an evil deserving of life imprisonment, or perhaps something more severe. Many people have expressed outrage over this issue. And I choose to in this manner because of what is at stake here—the life and future of our children! May God help us!
The truth be told: it is either we—both government, NGOs, Church and other religious bodies and individuals— join hands to put up practical measures that will help in achieving enduring solution to this menace, or we’re ready to welcome with shame, in the very nearest future, the harvest of this evil been bred, which its likelihood is— a caliginous future swarming with whackos/pedophiles of irrepressible wings cum power. Imagine what it would look like! We cannot afford to undermine the huge awfully negative impact of this evil trend brewing, if not contained now, in the psychological development of our kids, both presently and in future. This and more being the reason I thought it wise doing this little work.
Both psychological experience and otherwise has shown that sexual abuse on children if not promptly dealt with, will end up birthing for society, as already remarked, youths who themselves are child abusers—pedophiles— instead of leaders; as this chronic criminal behavior is often been perpetrated by people who were themselves subjected to abuse. Let’s not forget how children learn—by imitation and practice. And, chances are, that kids subjected to this eerie condition may grow up seeing nothing bad in it, especially considering where and who taught them the act.
Consider that people who sexually abuse children are likely to be people very close to them. It could even be people we care about, or people who tend to care about them. It would be easy to figure out who sexually abuses children if they were like the ones we see on TV—you know, those strangers hanging around the edges of playgrounds, or the “monsters,” who kidnap and kill children. But honestly, they’re hardly ever anything close to that. Regrettably, often people who sexually abuse children—both those who’ve been reported and those who haven’t—are fathers, mothers, step-parents, grandparents, and other family members (uncles, aunts, cousins). Or they’re neighbors, babysitters, clergy, teachers, coaches, friends to the family, or anyone else who has close contact with our children. Actually, we can’t tell who they are by the way they look. What they have in common is that they think about sexual interactions with children and then they act on those thoughts by sexually abusing a child. We know that child sexual abuse happens every day across the country, with little regard for social classes, racial or ethnic groups, religious affiliations, or sexual orientation. That means that adults and youth who have sexually abused a child live in the same neighborhoods, shop in the same stores, and use the same facilities that we do. We may know them personally as part of our family or extended family, or in our circle of friends and neighbors.
But we may not know about their sexual interests in kids. It’s hard to face the fact that someone we know and like might sexually abuse children. But because it’s true, we all need to know what to look for and how to make sure that everyone we know lives up to an expectation of safety in our homes and communities.
In 90% of child sexual abuse cases, the child knows and trusts the person who sexually abuses them.
Thus these are signs to look out for, when trying to spot a potential child abuser:
Activities can include any conventional adult sexual activity with a child. Also included are acts such as touching the child’s genitals or fondling with the intention of arousing sexual feelings. Know that intentions aren’t written on the face.
Prolonged kissing; whether French, American, or even let it be Igbo kissing, cuddling, and excessive touching. Looking at children either with or without clothes lustfully is also included.
Photographing, videotaping, or filming of naked children is not excluded.
Exposing a child to erotic material in the form of live behavior (excessive nudity), photographs, film, or video. If you happen to notice the person having a collection of any photographs or images of children taken by others in suggestive poses, or collection of any photographs of naked children. . Inappropriate intimacy with children may also be suspected. Any efforts to seduce a minor into a sexual relationship, whether the act is accomplished or not, is considered a form of child sexual abuse and should result in severe legal consequences.
Note:To identify the physical signs of child sexual abuse, parents should know the normal appearance of the genitalia of their child so that they can identify if any changes occur. If a child complains about problems with his or her genitals, please implore a discreet way to find out what could have gone wrong, and possibly take the child to your family doctor for examination. Children in day care, children cared for by others, or children who spend time alone with other people should be given close monitoring, as they may be at risk of sexual abuse
PHYSICAL SIGNS A CHILD HAS BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED.